‘Blair watch’ project begins with offer

While he may be struggling for friends in the media, support from the public, and have to endure non-street slang greetings from George W Bush, one thing Tony Blair is not short of is options for his future.

With his memoirs said to be worth £8m, Guru feels duty bound to keep tabs on his every move – if only to pick up any loose change he might leave in the back of a taxi. But while his value on the US conference circuit is huge, the out-going PM is unlikely to give too much thought to an offer from coaching firm Bluewood Training.

With the sort of enthusiasm that sees dogs wear themselves out chasing after airborne birds, Bluewood wrote to Blair asking him to join their rank of expert trainers.

“Bluewood Training is sure he could find a spare slot of time to help deliver its cutting-edge training courses,” the company squeals. “We use experts to teach our presentation and media-handling courses and we aim to attract the best – we think Mr Blair would be a perfect addition to the team.”

Perfect? What does Bluewood want to teach employers? How to say one thing while meaning another? How to be a lickspittle to bigger companies that do exactly what they want? How to become distrusted by everyone who deals with the company?

Whatever next? Steve McClaren should be out of a job soon – perhaps Bluewood would like to offer him a role.

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