Guru

This week’s guru

Football’s coming home thanks to FA’s HR team

Not a lot of people know that HR has been the saviour of English football
(News, 24 July). While Guru accepts that a reasonable 45 minutes against a
Mexican reserve team doesn’t recapture the form of 1966, most pundits agree
that things are looking up for the national team.

But how many people realise that this change in form is due to the HR team
at the Football Association? Not only was it instrumental in appointing the
inspirational Sven-Goran Eriksson, but, more importantly, it has modernised the
FA to such an extent that training programmes are in place which will make it
possible to replace him with an English successor when he leaves.

Let’s hope fans are busy making up chants about head of HR Paul Nolan rather
than the more predictable ones about what Sven and his wife get up to.

Two little letters that earn respect

Guru has come up with the answer for any personnel professionals with a chip
on their shoulder – change your job title to HR manager or director.

New research shows that HR professionals are getting more respect from other
managers than personnel professionals.

It also suggests that people with HR in their title are better qualified and
have a more strategic input into the business. HR professionals also have a
wider remit to their role.

Damn, looks like we’re going to have change the name of the magazine. Anyone
got any catchy alternatives – without descending into lingo bingo?

A safer bet than an England win?

So what’s the current betting on global recession? The smart money was
saying "no" until last Tuesday, which was not a confidence-inspiring
day for business. More than 35,000 global jobs were cut at firms ranging from
US telecoms giant Lucent to European conglomerate ABB and Japan’s Fujitsu.

Profits plunged and many companies were expecting more job losses to come as
business focused efforts on reducing costs – particularly wage bills.

Let Guru know what odds are being offered in the market (or Ladbrokes), as
Guru’s bet on a glorious Ashes series for England is starting to look in danger…

One area worth spending a penny on

As readers know, Guru is never one to miss an opportunity for a bit of
toilet humour. But he was disturbed rather than entertained by recent research
that shows a quarter of office staff avoid a trip to the loo at work.

It suddenly became clear to Guru that HR professionals can forget the
bonuses and work-life balance practices, just make sure the office toilet is a
thing of beauty. If staff are no longer feeling retentive then everyone will
relax around the office and become more productive.

It will be like an episode of Ally McBeal with the communal toilet full of
beautiful, sexy people. So Guru advises disciples to read Anusol’s The Bottom
report and make work a better place..

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