This week’s guru

Office facelift takes on a new meaning

Last month Guru reported that jobseekers in Argentina are increasingly
turning to plastic surgery to try and gain an edge in the country’s job market.

He was shocked to learn that UK men are also increasingly turning to
cosmetic procedures to hide signs of ageing they fear will be a handicap at

The Harley Medical Group has revealed that the number of men treated at its
clinics has more than doubled in the last year.

Its development director Louise Barton, explained "many patients have
expressed concerns about how they are perceived by their bosses and

The most popular treatment is botox injections around the forehead, lips and
eyes to help reduce those wrinkles and fine lines.

Guru recommends the full face lift, tummy tuck and all-body fat suction.

He feels like a new man – so, unfortunately does Mrs Guru.

What’s going on ear then?…

Work dress codes have been causing employers a few problems recently. It was
revealed last month that a civil servant is to take the Department of Work and
Pensions to tribunal because he is being forced to wear a shirt and tie to
work. He argues women have much more freedom over what they wear in the office.

Now a Merseyside traffic officer is taking his bosses to tribunal because
they won’t let him wear an earring on duty. Guru would think it would depend on
what sort of earring it was. He can imagine that the average offender would be
less likely to obey a male officer, who though wielding a baton, was sporting a
pair of ostentatious Pat Butcher style sparklers off either lobe.

…any more T-shirts vicar?

It is not only public servants and the police who have been kicking up a
fuss over dress codes.

The Church of England has just thrown out a proposal to relax dress codes
for clergy which could have seen vicars allowed to wear jeans and T-shirts at
some services.

Andrew David had proposed a change in the law on behalf of the Southwell
Diocesan Synod to allow the clergy to adopt a more modern image.

Guru is relieved vicars will be forced to carry on wearing traditional
robes. It would be quite unnerving to take Holy Communion from a man in a shell

Secret life of the number crunchers

Whenever Guru meets an accountant at a networking session or drinks party he
tends to make his excuses and move on fast.

But he is revising his opinion of the number crunchers after a survey on how
the UK’s workers spend their spare time, reveals that actually accountants are
far the most exciting.

They are most likely to socialise midweek, play more sport, watch the least
TV – and even have more sex.

The study, commissioned by winemakers Lindemans, finds most UK employees
spend their spare time in front of the box, go to bed before 11.30pm and are
largely celibate when there, whereas the typical accountant apparently goes
straight from poring over a company ledger at 5.30pm to an extreme hang-gliding
class, followed by a good sing-song in a pub, before rounding off with some
joint-stretching, tantric lovemaking with their lucky partner.

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