Guru

This week’s guru

Well, at least they’ll get their reward in heaven

Guru has always admired the clergy; not only for their religious commitment
but their benefits package – free house and food and a dress code that allows
flowing gowns in public.

This has not left them out of touch with the common man, however, and the
difficulties of keeping body and soul together.

Fifty dedicated men of God are planning to live on the minimum wage to
highlight the problem of low pay. The event, organised by Church Action for
Poverty, will see the clergymen live on £45 per week for six weeks – with one
bishop planning to live on a diet of beans on toast throughout Lent to help
save money.

Guru applauds the initiative and is hoping for a bit of divine intervention
to turn water into wine when it comes to his rewards package.

Insuring a good time is had by all

The South Korean government is to insure its citizens against work-related
drinking.

The move is reported to recognise the increase in stress caused by corporate
restructuring, job cuts and economic uncertainty.

Liver conditions caused by boozing with the boss will be covered by the
nation’s industrial accident insurance from March.

Job-induced stress, asthma and skin diseases will also be covered.

Guru, who has been angling for free health insurance for some time to cover
the health risk posed by his out-of-hours ‘networking’, is hoping the UK
government will follow suit.

Does anyone else want a pop at HR?

Just like ‘two jabs’ Prescott, Guru has decided to take action over all the
egg-throwing that HR has had to endure over the past couple of weeks.

No sooner has a Roffey Park report claimed all line managers think HR is
crap, than some up-start professor of psychology launches a stinging attack on
the profession.

University College, London’s, Adrian Furnham thinks HR should stop moaning
about its lack of recognition and equip itself with skills that will foster
respect.

Guru was initially pacified by Furnham’s comments in the Sunday Times that
HR professionals rely on Personnel Today for information, but then got fired up
again when he said their reading was shallow and based on populism.

Does he not know that Guru is the greatest living management thinker in the
world (and there’s nothing wrong with being popular)?

Fitness regime goes down the Tube

Guru’s Christmas paunch shows no
signs of abating. This might be because his New Year’s resolution to visit the
gym four times a week is just not happening. It’s a time-management, work-life
balance, lack-of-will-power, laziness thing.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel. Fitness experts
from Austria want London commuters to start their exercise regime on the Tube.

The work-out, which uses the movement of the train instead of
weights, has already been tried successfully on Vienna’s train network and its
designer Gert Halbgebauer believes it is an ideal way to tone up.

Guru is all for the idea in principle, but has some concerns
over whether the Austrian fitness fanatic has ever been on a London Tube in
rush hour. When Guru tried out a few of the moves last week he got involved in
two fights and was nearly arrested for indecent assault.

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