October 2010 - Guru Blog

Guru has been alerted to a possible cure for the plight of the jobless. And it's a rather dangerous occupation so will require serious training and monitoring - thereby creating lots of lovely jobs. With nearly 500,000 jobs expected to be 'culled' from the public sector, Yours Truly was inspired to investigate other culls and weigh up how...

Anyone worried about the 'shape' of work in the coming years can rest easy in their armchair of complacency, for David 'just call me Dave' Cameron has just spoken. And the words he spake - while munching on a bagel at the CBI - were that despite slashing nearly half a million jobs in the public sector, the future was one based on 'growth'...

While apprentice chancellor George 'pigman' Osborne pretended he'd not been doctoring the figures to persuade the dim and dusty of the nation that losing cash is actually good for them, Guru's attention was turned to the latest loser to emerge from the Apprentice household - namely Dr Whatsizname. Poor old surgeon Shibby Robati could't...

As if to prove that Yours Truly had an actual point when highlighting the needless targeting of those more rotund members of society , Blackpool Transport has snubbed two fatty bus drivers and told them to shed the pounds before they can continue their driving duties . Guru has heard, however, that any rumour that the buses were tilting dangerously...

Keeping tabs on the feckless few selected to impress the bearded one on BBC TV's The Apprentice , Guru was sad to see the women hasten their retreat to an idle future - as predicted by Yours Truly only a couple of days ago - by behaving in a shrill way. And, needless to say, one of Guru's top tips for expulsion duly got her marching orders....

Guru has not been himself of late, as those Disciples skilled in the art of blog watching will no doubt attest. But having spent some time in his Bulgarian bolt-hole soaking up the rays while surveying his, quite possibly illegal, copper mine, he is now revived and, like a shaven-headed, blue-dunked Lord Sugar, is ready to point the finger at any workplace...