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• Worker gets 'fencer's funeral' on back of van

  We all have visions of how we'd like our own funeral to be; the type of coffin, the kind of music, where the wake should be. Guru wants to be cremated Wicker Man style, while Britt Ekland look-a-likes prance topless around the village green. For fencer David Jessup it was nothing quite as extravagant. His dying wish was to be carried to his funeral... Posted Jan 25 2010, 04:11 PM by Guru Filed under: HR, employee relations, coffin, funeral, fencer

• Acas temp policy drips in irony

  Brilliant stuff from the HR experts over at Acas (stated aim: "to improve organisations and working life through better employment relations"). Bosses at the conciliation service have admitted to sacking temporary staff after 51 weeks' service - just before they gain full employment rights and qualify for the right to claim unfair dismissal... Posted Oct 29 2009, 08:56 AM by Guru Filed under: employee relations, Acas, temps

• Redundancy news delivered from afar

  Bill Keller, executive editor of the New York Times , is a smart man. Faced with the prospect of telling hacks that he had to make 100 of them redundant by the end of the year, he decided to steer well clear of the newsroom and feign illness. Here are the opening lines of his letter, sent to staff on Monday. "Colleagues, I had planned to invite... Posted Oct 21 2009, 09:09 AM by Guru Filed under: global, employee relations, redundancy, letter, new york times

• German 'meatball boss' eats humble pie

  A cautionary tale from Deutschland where a German boss has been forced to eat humble pie after sacking his PA for scoffing some of his lunch. So tempted was Magdalene Happ with the lunch of meatballs she had prepared her civil servant boss that she couldn't resist tucking in. However her boss took a dim view of this luncheon larceny and reportedly... Posted Oct 13 2009, 05:29 PM by Guru Filed under: global, employee relations, tribunal, Germany, lunch, PA, meatball

• Infrequently asked question

  Disciple Peter writes from the parallel universe that is local government, with a tale that perfectly encapsulates today's modern family unit. Guru can't imagine old school personnel had to deal with this in the 1970s. Dear Guru I just had to share this with you. My colleagues in Central HR have sent me an updated copy of our maternity policy... Posted Sep 23 2009, 01:24 PM by Guru Filed under: employee relations, local government, maternity leave

• Woof! It's Take Your Dog to Work Day

  Big news - today is Take Your Dog to Work Day According to the organisers, having dogs in the workplace can boost employee engagement. As far as Guru is concerned there is nothing engaging about having a whining, barking mutt distracting you from doing actual work. The organisers claim research has shown that the simple act of stroking a dog can reduce... Posted Sep 16 2009, 09:19 AM by Guru Filed under: work, employee relations, dogs

• Spotted Dick banned from council canteen

  Just the merest hint of political correctness gone too far can reduce Guru to apoplexy. So just imagine his feelings at the news that Flintshire County Council has renamed an iconic British pudding, rather than upset its astonishingly easily offended staff. Yes, when it comes to Flintshire Council's staff canteen menu, Spotted Dick is no more. Staff... Posted Sep 09 2009, 12:01 PM by Guru Filed under: council, employee relations, pudding, spotted, dick

• Office worker sacked for SHOUTY emails

  DISCIPLES WILL READ THIS POST NOW AND FIND IT FUNNY! AN OFFICE WORKER WAS FORCED OUT OF HER JOB AFTER COLLEAGUES COMPLAINED HER EMAILS WERE TOO 'SHOUTY' AND CONFRONTATIONAL. In one office-wide email presented as evidence at her tribunal, she had typed in bold blue letters: "TO ENSURE YOUR STAFF CLAIM IS PROCESSED AND PAID, PLEASE DO FOLLOW... Posted Sep 03 2009, 12:53 PM by Guru Filed under: employee relations

• Woof! Get ready for Take Your Dog to Work Day

  Big news - this year's Take Your Dog to Work Day will take place on 16 September. According to the organisers, having dogs in the workplace can boost employee engagement. As far as Guru is concerned there is nothing engaging about having a whining, barking mutt distracting you from doing actual work. The organisers claim research has shown that... Posted Aug 24 2009, 09:19 AM by Guru Filed under: work, employee relations, dogs

• Oh good, it's National Hug Your Boss Day

  Such was the success of last year's event, that this Friday (21 August) sees the return of National Hug Your Boss Day. Oh hooray! The whole of this coming Friday is dedicated to "testing the quality of their working relationship" with their manager through an unavoidably awkward clinch. Apparently, if you do not feel comfortable hugging... Posted Aug 19 2009, 09:17 AM by Guru Filed under: National Hug Your Boss Day, employee relations

• Walking barefoot in the park - or maybe not

  Guru, however curmudgeonly he or she may be, is prepared to admit that there are some things best done barefoot. Walking in the park (think of a young Jane Fonda and Robert Redford, although admittedly they didn't have to contend with the detritus found in the average British park these days). Swimming or bathing. Even sitting at your desk, feet... Posted Aug 05 2009, 10:21 AM by Guru Filed under: networking, employee relations

• Sky staff break nursery rhyme record

  What better way to boost workforce morale than a mass rendition of 'Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'? Well, Guru can think of a few hundred, but staff at Sky were 'cajoled to participate', according to the company, in the giant game as part of a seemingly pointless attempt to break the Guinness World Record. Some 1,252 people were press... Posted Aug 04 2009, 09:16 AM by Guru Filed under: employee relations, sky, employee, guinness world record

• Canon removes chairs, installs sirens to improve motivation

  Guru heartily applauds Canon Electronic's approach to motivation at its Japanese HQ, where chairs have been removed and piercing alarms sound if staff walk too slow. Company president Hisashi Sakamaki, author of the future bestseller "A Company will do Well if you Get Rid of the Chairs and Computers", recently revealed the tactics that... Posted Jun 02 2009, 01:00 AM by Guru Filed under: office antics, workers, employee relations, staff, time management, employees, motivation, innovation, management techniques, chairs, Canon

• Mr Whippy gets 21st century makeover

  HR teams are always on the lookout for new ways to boost employee engagement, particularly during this most gloomy of times. And what better way to do it than having attractive ladies serve ice cream to miserable staff? Erm, actually there are probably lots of better ways but this new idea - called Ice Angels' Chillout Friday - sounds intriguing... Posted May 05 2009, 02:46 PM by Guru Filed under: HR, office, employee relations, ice cream, ice angels

• Well done on getting the job - now f*uck off

  News reaches Guru of innovative new recruitment tactics from a company called Peer1. The firm "offers a reliable high performance Internet network supporting scalable managed hosting, dedicated hosting through the ServerBeach brand, and co-location solutions". Guru has no idea what this means but it sounds impressive. Peer1 says it is prepared... Posted Mar 18 2009, 08:02 AM by Guru Filed under: jobs, recruitment, employee relations, job, peer1, money, employee