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Cameron shafted by Pfizer decision to pull out of Kent

How much weight does the British leader carry on the world stage? About 14 stones, Guru would estimate - with most of that making a big bulge in his pocket. Sadly, that protuberance is 100% cash and not as a result of any illicit Viagra use on the part of our main member, that man David 'justcallmedave' Cameron, who in his role as PM recently...

Published 2 Feb 2011 9:08 AM by Guru

Filed under: job losses, jobs, david cameron, workers, leadership, unemployment, forestry commission, global influence, kent, pfizer, sandwich, viagra

Massaging figures is strangely satisfying occupation

Just when all was looking rosy in public sector HR, the former shadow chancellor and now shady chancellor Gorgeous George O has thrown a spanner in the works by revealing that the economy is "back on track" . According to Georgy Boy the job losses in the public sector will be reduced by 160,000 to just 330,000, according to a report from his...

Published 30 Nov 2010 2:22 PM by Guru

Filed under: job losses, jobs, workers, unemployment, human resources, public sector, george osborne, figures, massage

George Osborne gets hold of the scissors

Today, the pig-faced chancellor George Osborne (pictured) gets to deliver his porky idea of what prime cuts need to made to the rump of the public purse in his eagerly awaited spending review. One thing's for certain: Mr Pig will not be pulling a silk purse out of his pigs ear. But he will be raiding the public piggy bank. Guru wonders quite how...

Published 20 Oct 2010 9:03 AM by Guru

Filed under: job losses, jobs, human resources, chancellor, cuts, george osborne, pig, spending review

Fancy your job cuts with a twist of irony?

In one of life's great ironies that the gods send down to amuse all us little people, news reaches Guru that trade union Unite is making some staff redundant. The so-called 'super union' is looking to make cuts across all departments, with the number or job losses as yet unconfirmed. Cuts are happening because it expects the recession will...

Published 20 May 2009 11:51 AM by Guru

Filed under: job losses, trade unions, Unite, redundancy, GMB

Death of a barman

A man walks into a bar. His day has been long, his time is now short, and the pub is where he sorts his problems out. He takes a seat on the bar stool, orders a pint, and begins to recount how he was made redundant. After speaking for a good ten minutes...

Published 20 Aug 2008 8:49 AM by Guru

Filed under: job losses, jobs, office antics, workers, beer, Britain, USA, unemployment, leisure, technology

Job cuts provide foundation for Olympics

Guru notes that the construction sector axed more than 4,000 jobs in just one week, which in turn caused mass panic, serious alarm and raised fears of a full-blown recession for UK plc. However, being the 'glass-and-half full' type of oracle,...

Published 11 Jul 2008 12:07 PM by Guru

Filed under: job losses, velodrome, cuppa, olympics, construction, opportunity, poles, recession, Lord Coe, jobs, cycling, poland, jobs boom, bmx, building, café society, shanaze reade

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