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Voting systems can be confusing things. And tomorrow's vote on the voting system couldn't be more confusing if it were a confusing thing. Luckily, Guru knows his onions and can provide a handy guide to the confused. After all, a change in voting system could rock the boat, knock the eggs out of the basket and make life generally a tad less predictable...

Guru is saddened to report that London's firefighters have decided to continue with their industrial action and plan to go on strike on Bonfire Night. However, he is more overwhelmed by the news that the 'fire service minister' is so surprised at the timing of the strike. Apparently, the stunned minister, Mr Bob Neill, is shocked that "this...

Guru urges all disciples today to vote for the Monster Raving Loony Party. Having closely examined their manifesto proposals, Yours Truly cannot commend this bunch of upstanding idealists highly enough. Policy highlights include: Jetpacks for the elderly. This way they don't block the pavements and roads with those slow little machines that they...

As the election creeps ever nearer, thanks to disciple Stewart for pointing out this great spoof job ad for The Prime Minister of Great Britain , courtesy of the folk at jobsgopublic . Guru particularly likes the 'essential skills and qualities' required for role: Good contacts in the world of business, trade unions and environmental pressure...

Let it not be said that the work of the peers in the House of Lords is not of great value. A recent debate brought to Guru's attention highlights the vital issue the Lords debate and pontificate over. Prompted by an apparently worsening rodent infestation, Baroness Finlay of Llandaff kicked off by asking the chairman of committees "what measures...

Anyone who has experienced a period of unemployment will know that you are obliged by the Jobcentre to prove that you have been trying to find work when you go to sign on (not that Guru has ever been in this situation of course, merely taking the odd sabbatical). You could be forgiven for believing, therefore, that leveraging your present position to...

Guru was shocked to read that Gordon Brown is eating up to nine bananas a day as part of a pre-election health drive. The Sun claimed the PM was trying to kick his 'three-KitKat-a-day habit' in an effort to get in shape before the general election. The paper quoted a Downing Street source as saying: "Like with everything, Gordon is an obsessive...

For centuries, the practice of shaking hands has been used to greet a colleague, welcome a new acquaintance or seal a business deal. But now, one veteran MP has called for handshakes to be ditched. Paul Flynn, Labour MP for Newport West, wrote on his blog last month: "Handshakes are getting less popular. Good riddance. They are unnecessary unhygienic...