Criminal stupidity

As the hullabaloo over A-levels and how easy they are these days dies down, HR will soon be turning its eyes to our next generation of geniuses (or should that be geniae?) who are coming out of the higher education system.

Yes sirree, it looks like there’s going to be a fine crop of graduates ready to hit the ground crawling, with their degrees in media studies and sociology.

This embittered observation got Guru to thinking about how best to get hold of the top-notch talent come graduation time.

One quick, state-funded, expedition to South Africa later and Guru decided the traditional ways work best. It might sound old-fashioned, but the following case study shows the ‘milk round’ is still the thing if you want to get the three students left who aren’t experts in flower pressing.

Police in Kimberley, in the Northern Cape district of South Africa, rounded up 20 of their most wanted criminals – by inviting them to a party.
They sent a VIP invite to the last-known addresses of nearly 200 of the province’s most wanted criminals and 20 accepted.

The scheme – dubbed Operation Nice Surprise – promised guaranteed prizes for all when they turned up. What it didn’t mention was the room full of police ready to slap on the cuffs and the not-exactly-luxury accommodation (sea view not guaranteed) on offer.

So get the crop of people who will become your boss in the next five years into a room and make use of your captive audience. However, do remember to use handcuffs only as a last resort.

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