Dame Carol Black’s workplace health review makes growing old worthwhile

That Carol Black is a damned fine woman. I know I was the one who was less than complementary about her performance a while ago but now I’m hers, hook line and sinker.


In fact, I have a very soft spot for her. She has hidden talents and attributes that have come to light overtime and Mrs Elf is very complementary about her wardrobe – do you think she gets an allowance from the Department for Work and Pensions?


I never thought I’d say it but I feel quite privileged to have been at one of her national meetings. How sad is that? The last time I had such a flush of admiration was when I first saw Barbara Windsor pop her bra in Carry on Camping.


She’s taking a bit of time with this Carol-Black’s-Review Review of Working Age People though isn’t she, and it’s not as if she writes it all herself. I bet she has a whole office full of DWP flunkies tending to her every whim and fancy – a typical government office takes 10 people to do a job that one would have to do anywhere else.


I’ve been wondering what’ll come out of it in the end. Don’t expect it to be too radical, though you can expect a big emphasis on rheumatology which will please all the older workers of which Dame Carol is one, of course.


My view is that reasonable adjustments for the older worker will see the provision of slippers in the office and bunion buffers for those that are ‘out and about’ in the course of their work – postmen etc.


Coffee breaks will be replaced with Ovaltine or Horlicks breaks and the washrooms will have stocks of Steradent, Fixadent, Deep Heat and Incontinence pads available for all us oldies over the age of 50.

I’ve heard that a new ‘Carry On’ film is in the pipeline: Carry On Working – or not, if you’re currently an incapacity benefit claimant.

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