Windy Scot strikes bum note in Africa

Like most people, Guru claims to have a certain percentage of Scottish blood. Any doubter about the authenticity of this claim can pop around to the Manor and check – it’s in a jar in the pantry.

His affinity for those north of the border has led him on many culinary trips to Glasgow for the Buckfast wine, and Edinburgh for the deep fried… well… everything. Should you travel further north, past the Ye May Gang Far And Faur Wair restaurant by Brechin, you’ll soon find yourself in Aberdeen.

There is often a stiff wind coming off the North Sea around these parts and this will explain a recent cultural misunderstanding.

An Aberdeen oil man was seconded to his firm’s Gabon office in West Africa, where he soon ran into trouble over his own Aberdeen wind after colleagues lodged an official ‘hazardous situation report’ about his flatulence.

He said his behaviour was normal where he came from and did not deserve the complaint, which was filed under ‘bio hazard’.

A note from health and safety said: “If this behaviour is normal where you come from, you should know you are on international ground and should respect other people’s health and culture.”

The firm aims to avoid employees creating another stink by informing new staff that such behaviour is out of order.

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