Drink your way to better productivity

A survey conducted by Tiptopjob.com reveals that only 17 per cent of workers drink alcohol in their lunch break.

The website says: “Although alcohol is a relaxer and makes you more confident when you get back on the phones in the afternoon, drinking in the daytime can disrupt your concentration and have negative effects on your work performance. Probably best to wait until after work to start your drinking.”

Nonsense! Has anyone noticed that productivity is falling in the UK? Study after study has confirmed it. If a major brewer undertook such research, Guru reckons the result would be different and all the more reliable for it.

Haven’t you seen the Government warnings that you should ‘drink responsibly’? Most people just can’t see the wood for the trees; this means have a drink at lunch – better still, make it two. What do you get? A more contented and imaginative workforce who will do more work simply by virtue of not being bothered to leave their desks.

Time for a productivity binge.

HR needs to give itself a group hug

If you want to get involved with networking, investment bank Merrill Lynch seems like a good place to do it.

The bank has just rebranded its employee networks as ‘Professional Networks’, and there seems to be something for just about everybody. Take your pick from the Women’s, Black, Hispanic, Asia Pacific, American, Indo-American or even the Rainbow Professional Network. Guru can only imagine that the latter are those concerned with finding the leprechaun’s pot of gold.

One person who could be in need of a professional network is the disciple (who shall remain nameless) who sent in the following message: “I don’t know about depressing, I’m reaching for the bottle! I won’t be able to afford it for much longer.” That was it, no explanation or anything.

Is there such a thing as an HR support group? Guru suspects that in this world of ironies, the caring, sharing HR profession will be one of the few groups that lacks such a network. How about a new CIPD spin-off? The Caring Institute for the Pained and Discontented, perhaps?

Nah, it’ll never catch on.

PT winner gets full Brazilian treatment

Spreading the good word far and wide this week is Clare Hasler of Arriva, pictured (above) at her hotel in Copacabana, Brazeeel.

Clare and a friend went to Rio courtesy of Personnel Today and outsourcing specialist Xchanging after winning the trip at our Awards last November.

Now in case you hadn’t noticed, there’s a hidden message here. Come to the awards and you too could be wearing a bikini in an exotic location. In the interests of leading by example, Guru squeezes into his hot pink number every Saturday and insists he is called Susan.

Feel free to choose a name that suits you best.

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