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Personnel Today

Uni degree fakers will save the day

by Personnel Today 4 Apr 2006
by Personnel Today 4 Apr 2006

Businessfolk and politicians are constantly banging on about how we need to get more qualifications and get all skilled-up. Year-on-year this call goes out as our colleagues in India and China quietly go about the business of training their populations in preparation for crushing our economy in the not-too-distant future. It’s all rather depressing. But never fear; Guru is here to save the day – as always.

As a student of law, he was once told that “excreta tauri cerebrum vincit“. This roughly translates as “bull**** baffles brains”. Have a look at this
e-mail received at Guru HQ – it is reproduced as received:

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Lazy to attend exam or classes? We have Diplomas, Degrees, Masters’ or Doctorate to choose from any field of your interest. Only 2 weeks require to delivers the prestigious non-accredited universities paper to your doorstep. Do not hesitate to give us a call today!

So here’s the plan: Guru is going to set up the ‘Great big new University, it Really is a University, honest guv’ (or G.U.R.U. for short.). He will offer loads of fake qualifications at a reasonable price, which will massively skew the stats on the state of British education levels. When the Chinese see that 94% of our population have achieved PhDs, they will surely panic and bow out of the global economic market with their customary politeness.

Personnel Today

Personnel Today articles are written by an expert team of award-winning journalists who have been covering HR and L&D for many years. Some of our content is attributed to "Personnel Today" for a number of reasons, including: when numerous authors are associated with writing or editing a piece; or when the author is unknown (particularly for older articles).

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