Willing to slap their credentials on the table

Just to show that people like Tim can’t have it all their own way, here’s a brilliant e-mail from disciple Emma, who got rather more detail than she needed from an over-enthusiastic would-be recruit:

Dear Guru,

Applying for a life model for an art class, which required no qualifications or experience, the applicant stated:

1. I can stay still.
2. Although I have never worked in the nude before I can concentrate for long periods of time and find it good for my self-discipline.
3. I am in good physical health, with no visible scars except a tattoo on my left buttock.
4. I take multi-vitamins to keep in good physical and mental health.
5. I am free to discuss my credentials and to submit to a physical examination by [yourself] at any time.