A training manager’s diary

27 March

What a busy team-building day arranger I’ve been. Following the HRD’s diktat that Prangcaster Council staff will be the most content of the content, I have organised the first day out for one of our teams.

As mentioned last month, this is for the oiks – sorry skilled and learned craftsmen – in maintenance. Their head, Darren, said he wanted something lively. Well, he’s got it.

A pal of mine in the private sector told me of a start-up outdoor training specialist offering some ‘innovative team-spirit enhancing activities’ at an ‘early-bird booker price’. In other words, they’re buying market presence. I’m seeing Darren tomorrow.

28 March

If attitude could be bottled, then Darren would be a dedicated reservoir. “All right then, let’s get on with this team-building b****cks,” he chirps.

“Dazza, here’s the itinerary.”

I hand him the programme for the one-day event.

“What’s this city-centre treasure hunt malarkey?” he asks. “You’ll love it,” I tell him.

“At 8.30am sharp, you and your team meet in the supermarket car park with a representative of Rock Hard Training. He’ll give you some reference points, where you’ll find clues to where you’ve got to be by 12pm. Once there, you’ll be whisked off for lunch and lots of fun activities. I can’t tell you what they are but bring a change of clothing and some wellies.”

He looks at me quizzically. “It won’t involve sheep will it? And why 20 June?” Coz I’m on hols, is what I’d like to tell him “Let’s just say it’s usually dry and warm on that day.”

6 April

Ever since I took up the cudgel against untidiness in rooms used for training, I’ve become a bit obsessive and can’t leave for home until I’ve checked them.

Lynda, my fellow training manager, says I’ll be developing a nervous tic next. That started me worrying, until I got an e-mail from the HRD marked ‘Urgent!’.

He also ticks the received and read options. What would Jung make of that? I know he didn’t have access to Outlook in his day, but I’m sure if he had, he could have mapped it into his theory of archetypes.

No surprise that the e-mail is about ROI. I sometimes wonder if those were the first letters the HRD ever learned. I’ll read it tomorrow… I’ve got a training room to check.

7 April

Oh no! It’s about ROI on the Prangcaster e-learning system – something I’d given up for Lent.

“We behove it to our stakeholders, to ensure SkillsOpenAllPoints (Soap) is delivering real and lasting value to the organisation. To that end, I want the training team to devise some metrics that will effectively measure the positive impacts Soap has had across the organisation. Please let me have your solutions within the fortnight.”

I’d rather walk over hot coals on an assertiveness course, but needs must when the HRD drives.

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