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The Guardian's blog (Guru has employed a legion of geeks to educate him on all things worldwide web related, so watch this space) unearthed an unlikely job opportunity for any fundamentalists out there lamenting the poor career options on offer - suicide bomber, sniper, etc.
In a discussion about the allegedly turgid, unreadable prose penned by author Henry James, a contributor called for the reinstatement of book burning. Guru is not sure to which episode of the 'unelightenment' the blogger (for that is the modern moniker adopted by chatmasters in cyberspace, you know ) was referring to, but its return would surely provide a fine opportunity for the horizon-limiting monotheists out there who don't want to die just yet.
Book-burning has a long history, Guru notes, from the real scary - Qin Dynasty in China 2,300 years ago and the Spanish Inquisition through to the Nazis in Germany - to the unreal scary (made-up stuff) as in Malcolm Bradbury's Farenheit 451 or the 'memory hole' of George Orwell's 1984.
However, the basic skill set remains the same: one box of matches and an ability to stack up a big pile of books.
Of course, the job of suicide bomber, while offering little in the way of flexible benefits, provides a steady stream of work for anyone in a terror-based recruitment consultancy. But rather than being a proselytiser of (insert your preferred religion here) fundamentalism, now any hacked-off doomsayer can be a mere 'proselighter'.
COMPETITION TIME!
Ever keen to reward his loyal disciples for their dedication to his impressive column, Guru is always on the look out for little ways to show his appreciation. And much like waiting for the proverbial bus, when one does eventually come along, it's invariably closely followed by two more. So get your winning hat on and get involved.
Scrum down for free rugby tickets
Calling all rugger fans. Top relocation specialist The Relocation Bureau has contacted Guru with the offer of two pairs of tickets and hospitality for the forthcoming Heineken Cup quarter final match between London Wasps and Leinster Rugby on Saturday 31 March.
Guru is delighted to direct you to the competition website (www.reloburo.com/competition_p
