This week’s guru

Aussies take the biscuit… again

The Aussies may be able to beat us at cricket, tennis and football, but Guru
is glad to hear there is one area where the Brits still take the biscuit… er,
biscuit making.

The South Australia Government has invited experts from the Campden &
Chorelywood Food Research Association (CCFRA) to travel to Perth, Adelaide and
Melbourne to train bakers in the finer points of biscuit making.

"We may be second best at the moment when it comes to taking on the
Aussies at sport, but the Brits can show them a thing or two about baking
biscuits," said the CCFRA’s cereals director Stan Cauvain.

Guru is generally all in favour of exporting UK expertise but in this case
he makes an exception. How long did it take the Aussies to dominate world
cricket after we taught them all we knew about the game? We should keep them
ignorant of our high-tech dough kneading techniques, so that their Rich Tea
biscuits continue to taste like the prison hard tack they depended on during
the voyage over from the motherland.

No room for Sheilas in old boys’ network

Australia might be a great symbol of the new world but it is facing some
time-worn problems when it comes to modernising its institutions.

Just as the drive to reform the working practices of our Parliament has run
out of steam, there are clearly problems Down Under. MP and ex-olympic skier
Kirstie Marshall was banished from the debating chamber of the Victoria State
Parliament last week for breast-feeding her 10-day-old baby. She finished the
feed in her office and the ‘bust up’ prompted a review of the parliamentary rules.

While Yvette Cooper was the first minister in Blighty to have ever taken
maternity leave last year, Guru cannot envisage this level of change.

A reliable source tells him that MPs like working unsociable hours because
it gives them an alibi for being absent from their spouses at 3am.

Guru wonders why that would appeal…

Good vibrations from your fellow delegates

Guru is looking forward to using a sophisticated new networking device that
will help him locate the delegates he wants to talk to at the London Business
Forum Event on 20 March.

Spot Me is a pocket-sized device designed to break down barriers between
conference goers.

It has potted biographies and photos of every delegate downloaded on to it
so attendees can judge who would be a useful contact and programme it
accordingly. The best thing about it is that it starts vibrating when you come
in range of the person you are interested in – delegates might spot Guru
wandering around with a glassy look in his eye and a distracted smile.

The only downside for Guru is that as well as helping him find the people he
wants to talk to, the Spot Me gadget will also assist those delegates who might
be trying to avoid him.

Love of art don’t pay the rent

When Guru went off to study for a degree in history and politics many years
ago, his grandad told him he should stop ‘skiving’, get a job and learn from
the university of life.

And it looks like the old man had a point. Last week, a study by researchers
at the University of Warwick found that graduates in arts subjects, including
history and English, can expect to make between 2 per cent and 10 per cent less
than those who quit education at 18.

Professor Ian Walker, leading the study, said: "Feeling warm about
literature doesn’t pay the rent."

The research reveals that law, medicine, mathematics and engineering are the
most lucrative subjects to study in terms of eventual salary.

Guru is considering re-training as a plumber.

Comments are closed.