Personnel Today
  • Home
    • All PT content
  • Email sign-up
  • Topics
    • HR Practice
    • Employee relations
    • Learning & training
    • Pay & benefits
    • Wellbeing
    • Recruitment & retention
    • HR strategy
    • HR Tech
    • The HR profession
    • Global
    • All HR topics
  • Legal
    • Case law
    • Commentary
    • Flexible working
    • Legal timetable
    • Maternity & paternity
    • Shared parental leave
    • Redundancy
    • TUPE
    • Disciplinary and grievances
    • Employer’s guides
  • AWARDS
    • Personnel Today Awards
    • The RAD Awards
  • Jobs
    • Find a job
    • Jobs by email
    • Careers advice
    • Post a job
  • Brightmine
    • Learn more
    • Products
    • Free trial
    • Request a quote
  • Webinars
  • Advertise
  • OHW+

Personnel Today

Register
Log in
Personnel Today
  • Home
    • All PT content
  • Email sign-up
  • Topics
    • HR Practice
    • Employee relations
    • Learning & training
    • Pay & benefits
    • Wellbeing
    • Recruitment & retention
    • HR strategy
    • HR Tech
    • The HR profession
    • Global
    • All HR topics
  • Legal
    • Case law
    • Commentary
    • Flexible working
    • Legal timetable
    • Maternity & paternity
    • Shared parental leave
    • Redundancy
    • TUPE
    • Disciplinary and grievances
    • Employer’s guides
  • AWARDS
    • Personnel Today Awards
    • The RAD Awards
  • Jobs
    • Find a job
    • Jobs by email
    • Careers advice
    • Post a job
  • Brightmine
    • Learn more
    • Products
    • Free trial
    • Request a quote
  • Webinars
  • Advertise
  • OHW+

Personnel Today

Guru

by Personnel Today 7 May 2002
by Personnel Today 7 May 2002

This week’s guru

Indiscretions prove a headache for starters

More than three-quarters of office workers rank their first day in a new job
as one of the most daunting experiences of their adult lives.

A survey of 1,500 workers reveals that for 98 per cent their biggest fear is
making a major blunder on their first day and 53 per cent have actually done
so.

According to Office Angels, common first day cock-ups include failing to
recognise the person who interviewed you, swearing in front of your new boss
and revealing too much personal information.

Guru is well aware of possible first-day pitfalls.

On one occasion, anxious to ingratiate himself to new colleagues he told a
sexist joke about a goat and a bicycle, let slip an inappropriately detailed
account of the night he first met Mrs Guru and sang an extremely rude rugby
song.

His second day was much more straightforward – he was asked to clear his
desk and leave the building.

Firemen ignite the flames of love lust

Guru is thinking of joining the fire
brigade after research reveals that this is the profession with the biggest
pulling power.

Nearly half of women surveyed by Fish4jobs report they think
firemen have the sexiest job, 24 per cent get hot under the collar for
policemen, and 20 per cent go for doctors.

Finance directors also scored well with 13 per cent of female
respondents highlighting this as an attractive job because of the combination
of a suit and money. Surprisingly, the role of HR guru did not feature as a
fantasy figure for the majority of the ladies out there.

Somewhat predictably, men have a thing for nurses and a fifth
fancy air hostesses.

Why couldn’t it have been No 10?

Guru got all excited as he walked along Downing Street last
week.

To his left, was a bank of photographers and journalists. To
his right, was a red carpet leading up to number 10. For a second, he thought
he might make the Six o’Clock News.

But he was promptly ushered along to number 11, and locked in a
small room with a bunch of noisy, opinionated economists for a Work Foundation
debate.

While the discussion – Can the UK manage? – was lively (with
the answer seeming to be ‘could do better’), Guru would rather have been next
door.

Can you imagine the frosty silences that must have ensued
Tony’s dinner party, when the guests were the Queen, Margaret Thatcher, Ted
Heath, John Major and Jim Callaghan?

Midlife crisis TV just isn’t funny

The self-obsessed, patronising and delusional star of hit
comedy The Office has been signed up to front Dixons’ corporate training video.

Comedian Ricky Gervais, who plays incompetent middle manager
David Brent, will be used to demonstrate how not to manage staff.

Sign up to our weekly round-up of HR news and guidance

Receive the Personnel Today Direct e-newsletter every Wednesday

OptOut
This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

In the programme Brent apparently likes to think he is the
popular life and soul of the office when in reality he is a Walter Mitty-type
character who everyone hates, going through a midlife crisis.

Nothing funny about any of that as far as Guru is concerned.

Personnel Today

Personnel Today articles are written by an expert team of award-winning journalists who have been covering HR and L&D for many years. Some of our content is attributed to "Personnel Today" for a number of reasons, including: when numerous authors are associated with writing or editing a piece; or when the author is unknown (particularly for older articles).

previous post
Mini adventure leads to major jobs boost
next post
London bus drivers hold rally for better pay

You may also like

Five misconceptions about hiring refugees

20 Jun 2025

Forward features list 2025 – submitting content to...

23 Nov 2024

Features list 2021 – submitting content to Personnel...

1 Sep 2020

Large firms have no plans to bring all...

26 Aug 2020

A typical work-from-home lunch: crisps

24 Aug 2020

Occupational health on the coronavirus frontline – ‘I...

21 Aug 2020

Occupational Health & Wellbeing research round-up: August 2020

7 Aug 2020

Acas: Redundancy related enquiries surge 160%

5 Aug 2020

Coronavirus: lockdown ‘phase two’ may bring added headaches...

17 Jul 2020

Unemployment to top 4 million as workers come...

15 Jul 2020

  • Empowering working parents and productivity during the summer holidays SPONSORED | Businesses play a...Read more
  • AI is here. Your workforce should be ready. SPONSORED | From content creation...Read more

Personnel Today Jobs
 

Search Jobs

PERSONNEL TODAY

About us
Contact us
Browse all HR topics
Email newsletters
Content feeds
Cookies policy
Privacy policy
Terms and conditions

JOBS

Personnel Today Jobs
Post a job
Why advertise with us?

EVENTS & PRODUCTS

The Personnel Today Awards
The RAD Awards
Employee Benefits
Forum for Expatriate Management
OHW+
Whatmedia

ADVERTISING & PR

Advertising opportunities
Features list 2025

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Linkedin


© 2011 - 2025 DVV Media International Ltd

Personnel Today
  • Home
    • All PT content
  • Email sign-up
  • Topics
    • HR Practice
    • Employee relations
    • Learning & training
    • Pay & benefits
    • Wellbeing
    • Recruitment & retention
    • HR strategy
    • HR Tech
    • The HR profession
    • Global
    • All HR topics
  • Legal
    • Case law
    • Commentary
    • Flexible working
    • Legal timetable
    • Maternity & paternity
    • Shared parental leave
    • Redundancy
    • TUPE
    • Disciplinary and grievances
    • Employer’s guides
  • AWARDS
    • Personnel Today Awards
    • The RAD Awards
  • Jobs
    • Find a job
    • Jobs by email
    • Careers advice
    • Post a job
  • Brightmine
    • Learn more
    • Products
    • Free trial
    • Request a quote
  • Webinars
  • Advertise
  • OHW+