How to provide meaningful support for grieving employees

With National Grief Awareness Week around the corner, compassionate employers programme lead at Hospice UK Faith Holloway, considers the steps employers can take that can genuinely make a difference to grieving employees.

This year, National Grief Awareness Week is taking place on 2-8 December, and now’s the perfect time for employers to do more than just acknowledge grief – they can take meaningful steps to support grieving team members year-round.

Unaddressed grief doesn’t just affect individuals; it ripples through the workplace, impacting productivity, increasing absences and leading to higher turnover. Research from Hospice UK shows that 77% of employees aged 18-34 would consider leaving their job if they felt unsupported after a loss.

Despite the universal nature of grief, many employees feel pressured to return to work before they’re ready, often without adequate support. And with only 17% of managers feeling very confident in supporting grieving colleagues, there’s a clear gap in our approach.

This week, I encourage employers to focus on three key areas to bridge the gap and strengthen their approach to grief support year-round:

Policy

Many organisations fall short with their bereavement leave policies, and it’s such a missed opportunity to show what your brand and values stand for.

Only one-third of companies have a bereavement policy, so even having one makes you stand out. Going above and beyond in your policy can really make a difference.

Here are some standout practices from our compassionate employer members:

• pre-bereavement leave for those caring for or saying goodbye to a loved one who is dying.
  offering all employees a minimum of 10 days of paid leave, so everyone is treated fairly. This avoids the ‘manager lottery’, where some employees get more leave just because their manager is more compassionate.
• employees can take their leave when it works best for them, with the option to spread it over a year or use it in hours instead of full days. This flexibility is especially useful for handling “grief admin” initially or for reflecting on anniversaries and special dates in the future.
• extra leave for specific situations, such as travelling abroad, observing religious practices, or for employees who are having a harder time with their grief.
• a day of paid leave for grieving a pet.
• use broad terms like “important person” or “loved one” instead of outdated family restrictions. This is far more inclusive, allowing employees to avoid justifying the significance of their relationships.
• a clear list of workplace adjustments that empowers employees to request the support they need upon returning. 
• involving colleagues passionate about bereavement support in the final review to further enhance the policy for the best impact.

Next steps Review your leave policies against best practices and remove any outdated or unnecessary restrictions.

Knowing what to say (and what to avoid saying)

Without proper guidance, communication about bereavement can easily go awry.

Managers and teammates often feel uncertain about what to say to a grieving colleague. They may struggle with how to check in or find themselves staring blankly at a condolence card, unsure of what to write.

I’ve heard of multiple cases where personal details are shared without the grieving person’s consent, often due to a lack of communication or failure to check in with the bereaved person beforehand, which is easily avoidable and can unfortunately erode trust in a team.

Many wonder, “What should I say to someone who’s lost a loved one?” It’s important to keep in mind here that the goal isn’t to cheer them up or offer advice, it’s to acknowledge their grief. The number one thing bereaved individuals need from colleagues is validation and reassurance that their feelings are normal.

Instead of using clichés or silver linings, try simple phrases like, “I’m so sorry this happened to you,” “it’s not fair,” or “it’s okay to feel angry or numb”. These words validate their emotions and show them they’re not alone.

Next steps Organisations should train managers on how to respond appropriately to grief and ensure that clear, respectful communication is consistent across all managers. This particularly includes checking in with the bereaved about what they’re comfortable sharing before they go on leave and how they’d like colleagues to approach them upon returning to work.

A compassionate reintegration to work

It’s a common misconception that once an employee returns, they’re automatically back to normal. Work demands and deadlines can quickly pile up, leaving the grieving employee quickly feeling overwhelmed. Without a thoughtful return-to-work plan, all the progress made initially in supporting grieving employees can unravel.

Here are some further best practices to ensure a smoother transition:

• starting back on a Wednesday can ease the adjustment, providing a more gradual re-entry into the workplace.
• greet them with a coffee outside or set up a virtual chat before meetings to reduce any apprehension.
• keep their first day light and leave space in your own calendar in case they need you.
• open the dialogue about which workplace adjustments could help them ease back in and provide examples of what you can offer, such as temporary remote working or more frequent breaks.
• make sure they have access to a private, quiet area for moments when they need a break or to take calls. 
• before they return, address any potential concerns or awkwardness with teammates openly, provide examples of what to say, and clearly outline how the colleague wants to be approached.
• understand that grief can resurface unpredictably, so patience and flexibility are key.
• regularly use phrases like, “you’re doing great” or “it’s okay not to be at full capacity”. These small reassurances can help ease guilt and stress.

Next steps Organisations should review their current return-to-work guidance for employees and managers. If they don’t have a guide, they should create one that outlines best practices to ensure adequate support, recognising that returning to work is often just the start of a longer grief journey.

By improving support in these three key areas, employers can demonstrate a genuine commitment to supporting employees this National Grief Awareness Week.

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This isn’t just about raising awareness temporarily; it’s about taking meaningful actions that help grieving employees feel valued and cared for.

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