Someone’s gotta do the dirty work

An interesting incentive scheme is set out below by disciple Colin, who admits ‘I haven’t written in a while’. Shame on you.

Dear Guru,

My mate has a very large maintenance company. He has just won a contract to provide maintenance for Ann Summers outlets.
Ann Summers professed it was concerned that contractors on site must conduct themselves appropriately.

So he has introduced a scheme for his guys (no girls on the tools, so quite PC), whereby their ‘good behaviour’ is rewarded by being on the list allowed to go the Ann Summers shops to undertake work. Nice incentive, I thought.

I think his next ploy is to get the contract for a national lap-dancing outlet!

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Since the government is working hard to get more female applicants to work in the construction/maintenance field, perhaps the key would be to hold joint recruitment and Ann Summers parties, as they are clearly an incentive to building types.

Guru will e-mail Ruth Kelly, secretary of state for education and skills, forthwith to see if she’ll launch the scheme with a ladies night at Number 10.