Bit of a thicko? Why not try Bulgaria?

 If you are thinking about leaving the profession and setting up as a freelance tree surgeon or the like, you might want to reconsider. The following is a sobering story from Bulgaria, where the world’s cleverest woman can’t even get a job.

Daniela Simidchieva, a mother of three, has an IQ of almost 200, backed up with five Masters degrees. Moreover, she is recognised by the country’s Mensa office as the world’s cleverest woman.

Poor Daniela is qualified as an industrial engineer, an English teacher and an electrical engineer, and yet she can’t get a job that commands a salary of anything more than 90 a month. She says employers in Bulgaria just don’t want clever staff.

It’s clearly a conspiracy when you think about it. No one is better qualified than the HR profession to comment on the amount of cretins that are in full employment. Of course, none of you will admit this, so Guru has on your behalf.

Yours Truly is proud to admit he is responsible for this because he can’t have intelligent types making their way up to challenge his intellectual prowess. It’s a brave new world…

Time to splash out on personnel jets

A few weeks ago, these pages reported the sad trend that less people were spending their hard-earned expense accounts in lap dancing clubs. This was due to a new corporate ethos in the wake of Enron etc, which dictates a more responsible attitude to spending.

But if you in HR thought you were on a nice easy wicket when it came to scrutinising expense accounts, think again. In the US, company excess seems to be heading skywards again as the sales of private jets rocket. It’s only a matter of time before the trend heads east – and it’s not just Norwich we’re talking about here.

The General Aviation Manufacturers Association in Washington DC has reported a 10 per cent rise in sales of private jets in the first nine months of this year. No longer will CEOs and Gurus suffer the indignity of travelling in mere First Class.

With this trend, HR should be working hard to get the damage limitation going. Remember the lady from Merill Lynch who claims she was discriminated against while flying aboard the company plane, and then went on to sue for 7.5m? If your senior management are a mile high, tell them to be very careful before joining that particular club.

This does raise the interesting point of jurisdiction. On a boat, when in international waters, the captain technically has the right of life or death. How high do you need to fly before this happens on a plane? Could Merill Lynch claim they would have to conduct the trial under the authority of Judge Cumulo Nimbus QC for it to be a fair trial?

Finally, why is it they get personal jets and yet there are no personnel jets?

Guru includes the contact details for your information as he is certain no one in the HR profession, no matter what they say, is desperate (or stupid) enough to actually apply to this.

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