Chinese police strip away the last rites

Any enlightened businessman (sorry, businessperson of no predetermined gender) knows that we are soon going to be crushed by the Chinese economy and enslaved by the unstoppable economic juggernaut from the East.

Oh well, that’s just the way the cookie crumbles, Guru supposes.

Obviously, China has a fairly unsavoury past – and indeed present – that it needs to overcome before it can progress. However, Yours Truly is prepared to overlook all of that because he knows on which side his bread is buttered.

But there are certain things he can’t forgive the Land of the Rising Towerblocks. Probably the most important of these indiscretions is the decision by Chinese police to clamp down on having strippers at funerals. The practice of employing strippers is a traditional method of attracting more people to a funeral – the idea being that the more people there, the more the dead person is honoured.

Just the other week, five strippers were arrested for shedding their attire at the funeral of a farmer.

How this has avoided the condemnation of the rest of the world is beyond Guru. Where are the sanctions? Where are the ‘peace-keeping’ forces?

The only good that can possibly come from this is the knowledge that in the ever-tougher world of recruitment, there is one way to make sure you get as many applicants as possible: strippers. If it works for the dead, then it will surely work for the living,

Guru has dusted off his thong and awaits your call.

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