Forget rush hour – just live at work

Guru has long-campaigned for staff to be wed to the workplace. Why, he argues, should valuable time be wasted on lazing around in bed (or ‘sleeping’, as these outrageous civil libertarians call it) when staff could be hard at work for the good of society?

Guru has written to high-ranking officials demanding that they put an end to this so-called ‘sleeping’ – it’s nothing more than a wildcat strike under a different name, he argues.

Fortunately, one industry that is always noted for its good sense is on side – the world of fashion. Designer and restaurateur Sir Terence Conran has written to deputy prime minister John Prescott, with the suggestion of making greater use of the office which, by his calculations, is only occupied 20% of the time.

In his proposal, Work/Life, a proposition, he says offices should be transformed into residential apartments so that young employees can “work from home”, and thus not have to commute. Under Conran’s plans, work would be done from within the individual’s flat, while communal areas would be used for meetings, gyms and other such tomfoolery.

He argues that this would ease traffic congestion, reduce energy emissions and spice up weekends in business districts.

“The idea of living above the shop has long been ingrained in British culture, so this is not a dramatic new idea,” Sir T said.

Guru has bought into this idea – it’s the only thing of Conran’s he can actually afford.

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