The government has pledged a review of the parental leave system to strengthen family-friendly rights. Through his personal story, Geoffrey Williams reflects on why HR teams should be more proactive around supporting families with adoption.Â
When my husband and I decided to adopt, while we were filled with excitement, we also understood that adoption brought a level of complexity and much that we needed to learn.
Our first step was reaching out to our local authority’s adoption agency. They were well-meaning, but it didn’t feel like the right fit.
Everything changed when we contacted PACT, a voluntary adoption agency. From the very beginning, we felt a sense of warmth, understanding and genuine care.
Adoption support
They didn’t just answer our questions – they held space for us. It was clear that they understood how significant this journey was, and their support grounded us as we stepped into the unknown.
The adoption process itself was daunting. The uncertainty around whether we’d be seen as a good fit as a multiracial gay couple raising a Black child often loomed in the background.
We carried both hope and doubt, unsure of how we’d be perceived or what challenges lay ahead.
And the challenges did come. When our son came home, life changed in ways we could never have fully anticipated.
Challenges ahead
Like all new parents, we experienced the upheaval – sleepless nights, emotional exhaustion, and the steep learning curve of parenthood. But layered on top of that were the challenges of visibility.
We quickly became aware of the stares in public, the questions from strangers, and the assumptions that made us feel like our family needed constant justification.
People would ask intrusive questions about our son’s background, often with no regard for his privacy or ours. We learned quickly how to draw boundaries and protect his story.
Our job wasn’t to satisfy others’ curiosity; it was to nurture our son in a way that made him feel safe, seen, and cherished.
There were practical hurdles too. Applying for a new NHS number, for example, became unnecessarily complicated. Some couldn’t process the absence of a “mother” on the birth certificate, which led to frustrating delays.
These experiences, while exhausting, also reinforced our commitment to challenging outdated systems and assumptions about what a family should look like.
Balancing work
One of the most difficult parts was balancing work with the emotional needs of our new family. I had just started a new job during the adoption process, which meant I was only entitled to two weeks of statutory parental leave, plus two unpaid.
My husband took a full year off. Returning to work so soon while we were still bonding as a new family was incredibly difficult.
That said, the timing coincided with the pandemic, and this had an unexpected upside.
Working from home meant I could be more physically present in those early months. That proximity allowed for connection and consistency at a time when both were crucial.
Every adopted child, regardless of their age or circumstance, will have experienced some level of trauma.
This could be the loss of their birth family, separation from carers, or other disruptions in care – experiences that can profoundly affect their ability for secure, healthy attachments.
Unlike biological parenting, where attachment may begin during pregnancy, adoption demands that connection be built from scratch. This takes time, presence, and a huge amount of emotional energy.
That’s why one of us taking a full year off wasn’t just a recommendation – it was essential. Our son needed to feel safe, to know we weren’t going anywhere.
Phased return
When my husband eventually returned to work, he did so gradually, first working three days a week, then four.
This phased return reduced disruption and helped preserve the emotional stability we’d worked so hard to build. I believe more employers should offer this kind of flexibility as standard, not an exception.
Adoption leave policies often fail to reflect the unique realities adoptive families face. For example, expectant mothers are rightly entitled to paid time off for antenatal appointments.
But adoptive parents who must attend compulsory training and assessments, receive no equivalent. It sends the message that one route to parenthood is recognised and supported, while the other is treated as an afterthought.
Thankfully, both our employers were supportive, though they lacked prior experience navigating adoption-related leave. That meant we had to do some of the legwork ourselves educating them on policy, advocating for flexibility, and initiating difficult conversations. I know not everyone is so fortunate.
Proactive design
That’s why inclusive family policies must be proactively designed and clearly communicated, so employees don’t feel the burden of educating their employers while already navigating the intensity of adoption.
Every adopted child, regardless of their age or circumstance, will have experienced some level of trauma.”
HR leaders have a vital role to play. Supporting adoptive families goes far beyond statutory leave. It’s about creating a culture of empathy and understanding. Language matters. Representation matters.
Making space for different paths to parenthood through adoption, surrogacy and fostering, should be standard practice, not a progressive bonus.
When organisations treat every family structure with dignity and intention, employees feel seen. They stay longer. They show up more fully.
Adoption may not be the traditional path to parenthood, but it’s no less profound. Improving adoption leave and support sends a powerful message: all families are valued.
Tangibly, businesses see stronger employee loyalty, better retention, and a more inclusive culture. When organisations make space for diverse family experiences, they build trust – and trusted teams perform better.
Sign up to our weekly round-up of HR news and guidance
Receive the Personnel Today Direct e-newsletter every Wednesday
Reward, compensation and benefits opportunities
Browse all comp and benefits jobs
