Experts, scientists and boffins – whoever they may be – have combined their formidable brain power and discovered the earth-shattering fact that January is a little bit miserable.
The Edinburgh Sleep Centre found that the first month of the year is the most sleepless. Each night this month, up to 8.5 million adults are awoken at 3am by work, family and money worries and a vague feeling that, since it’s been dark for 11 hours already, it should really be time for breakfast.
This sleeplessness impacts on employers as their staff come to work knackered and grumpy and either take time off sick, or surf the internet researching Australia’s immigration requirements.
Guru is no stranger to waking up with a start at 3am, wondering whether he remembered to remove the swear words from that e-mail to the editor. And he finds it ironic to worry so much about work at 3am, when it is at 3pm every day that his mind starts drifting and he feels it must be time for a snooze.
One afternoon, tucked up in his pyjamas and sleeping cap, Guru wondered whether it was time for innovative HR staff to call employees in to work in the early hours, when their minds are clearly on the job, and let them get home early for their post-lunch snooze.
Guru’s greatest hits aid next generation
Rejoice, disciples, for Guru’s influence is spreading. This truly must be his calling as he has been asked to take the word of HR professionals to those who really need it. That’s right, Guru is helping the desperate – sixth formers in the city of Norwich.
Dave Poulter, information services co-ordinator for Connexions Norfolk, was so impressed with your stories of appalling interviewees that he stuck a load of them on the back page of a booklet about applying for jobs.
“Every pupil in year 12 in Norfolk gets a set,” he proudly announces.
Fantastic work, Dave. And because no-one ever gets bored of appalling interviewee stories – and because Guru is busy preparing for a radio interview with Alan Partridge – here’s a few of the best entrants.
Hobbies: ‘Trees and playing with my hamster.’
Describe yourself in one word: ‘Volatile.’
Any questions?: ‘Do you test your employe