Old faithful is burning the midnight oil

Family-friendly policies are back in fashion, despite Guru venting his rage on the effect these plans have on his business portfolio.

No-one in government has considered the impact on the family life of Yours Truly, who has to work around the clock to make up for his family-friendly (ie, absent) staff.

You try explaining to Mrs Guru that having to work ’til midnight is all part of the government’s work-life balance agenda.

Moreover, it starts ugly suspicions about what, or rather who, Guru is working on during these late nights.

One imagines that you, dear reader, are having much the same issues as the ever growing burden of employment law keeps you bent over your keyboard banging out policy.

But help is at hand. A survey of 150,000 users on dating website CupidBay.com reports that UK men are among the most faithful in the world.

Only 1% of married UK men were looking for extra-marital sex on the site, the study found. Married men living in India proved to be the most unfaithful, with 49% actively seeking extra-marital sexual relationships.

Unfortunately, the report does not account for women, who are clearly beyond reproach in their over-time habits.

All this late working does make Guru feel bad. How many nights has he come home to find lonely Mrs Guru has had to call in an electrician to fix the fridge?

Need-to-know basis goes awry

If working all night wasn’t enough, during the regular hours of HR things can get weird enough. Take this letter from disciple Fleur, who was not quite up to date on her employment law:

Dear Guru,
I’ve just taken a phone call from a professor taking a job at the university where I work.

He advised me that he was employed at a university overseas in the EU and now was beginning work for us and as a new starter he had some questions.

He asked: “What was the notice period in my old university?”

I advised him that this depended on the terms and conditions of employment which could be supplied by his employer.

His next question was: “What is the minimum notice period required under Swedish law?”

I struggle enough with the mire of UK employment law. I am clearly not worthy.

The perfect HR director, part 2

After Guru’s mad scientist attempts to create the ideal HR director (Personnel Today, 1 March), disciple Jan from Herefordshire thought she would have her own go.

Do you agree with her diabolical plans for HR domination? If not, send in your ideas and Guru’s laboratory will get to work creating your own genetically-enhanced HR being.

Guru hr director.jpg

Head: Star Trek’s captain Jean Luc Picard
Be firm but fair and demonstrate at every opportunity how to keep your head in a crisis.

Body: Mother Theresa
A big heart is essential in HR.

Legs: Linford Christie
You need to be able to sprint to keep up with HR legislation.

Comments are closed.