If your recruitment campaign is not hitting the right notes with the jobseeking public, you could do worse than write a rock power ballad.
Take the example of Dennis Madalone, who has taken it upon himself to recruit the entire world to the cause of America. No mean feat in the current climate.
Dennis, who was previously stunt co-ordinator on the Star Trek TV series, has penned possibly the most… errrr… heart-rending song ever set down in any format you might care to mention.
The best description Guru has found for America: We Stand As One so far is that it is ‘short on lyrics, long on firemen and angels’.
Never have more flags been waved in so short space of time – or even throughout space time, as Captain Kirk might say.
So go to www.americawestandasone.com and have a look at the video.
Apparently, when shaggy-headed Dennis wrote this, he cried, his wife cried and his dog cried too.
It will make you cry, although probably with laughter.
But when you’ve finished, take a moment and think, ‘this could easily be adapted for a staff induction video’.
All’s well that ends well for newlywed
The following story might be seen as a powerful HR parable, such as those that were told in days of yore when HR was called ‘personnel’.
Forsooth they were mysterious times – Personnel Yesterday, you might say.
Now we’ve created the mood, on to the story.
A young Indian man has spent two days down a well because his parents had not managed to find him a bride.
Rajesh, from Latki in Jharkhand, was desperate to get married because all his friends had already tied the knot.
According to United News of India, he climbed inside the well and threatened to take his own life unless the matter was resolved.
Thankfully for all of those involved, a bride-to-be was rustled-up from a neighbouring village and a marriage ceremony took place post-haste at the nearest convenient temple.
Now, can you can see the parallels with HR? No?
For the less enlightened, it’s all about overcoming skills shortages through the use of imaginative recruitment techniques.
‘Of course!’ you cry. If only HR was half as dedicated as young Rajesh, we wouldn’t be in the sorry state we’re in, and there wouldn’t be 620,000 vacancies for jobs across the UK.
In the story, we can easily supplant the well for a ‘well’ organised recruitment campaign.
This would need to drill down to the life-blood of the company – its people (as represented by the water at the bottom of the well/recruitment campaign).
Next, HR would need to climb into this metaphorical well and stay in there until it damn well gets what it wants.
If you stick it out, they will come to you.
And yeah, you shall marry them unto your company through the ceremony known as the ‘health and safety induction’.
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Here endeth the lesson.
Papal recruitment technique has fan
Keeping to the religious theme, here is a letter from a disciple (a strangely appropriate title), who decided she needed to pontificate about a recent appointment…
“Dear Guru
I was urged to write and say how easy the Catholic Church make the whole recruitment process – all you need is the right colour smoke!
I wish it was as simple as this for us all. I was amazed at the time it takes to fill a vacancy.
Did the Cardinals follow a process involving a board of directors, source agencies, negotiate fees, interview selected candidates, debate with colleagues over who would be the right person, then make an offer and wait for a reply?
It would seem not.
If you have a copy of their process and can suggest any ideas on cutting down the time and money it takes, please let me know. I will get the matches ready.”
