One in five British women would sacrifice a pay rise or promotion for a top-class bikini body they would be happy to show off on the beach, according to Slim Fast.
More scarily still, the same proportion would take the karaoke microphone and rattle out a discordant ditty before baring a two-piece. Do you sing in the office? Thought not. So what makes you think it is okay do it in public, for God’s sake?
Italian women came out as the number one threat to the British ladies’ dignity on the beach, with the Swedish not far behind. However, it is unclear what working benefits these foreign vixens have foregone to end up with such enviable physiques.
In the interests of bringing you examples of best practice from across the globe, Guru is booked on the next flight to the French Riviera to conduct extensive research into what is really going on behind the bikini and get to the bottom of it all. Bra-vo!
A secretary’s work is never done…
A group of workers who would be happy to lose some responsibility, bikini-dependent or not, might be long-suffering personal assistants.
Writing the boss’s resignation letter, walking the manager’s dog, dismissing a colleague, and even removing a dead body, were all tasks cited by secretaries in a survey by The Times.
Buying and programming the boss’s mobile phone was another. Although no-one seems to have connected this with another popular task: making excuses to the boss’ wife.
High price to pay for ‘working’ lunch
Not content with building the ‘Erotic Gherkin’ in the heart of London, reinsurance firm Swiss Re has now become embroiled in erotic dancing.
Michael Blaser, chief financial officer of the company’s Americas division, is suing a New York strip club after landing a $28,000 bill, which he claims is a fiddle.
The club, Scores, claims Blaser and his two companions spent $3,200 on five bottles of champers, and $7,000 on $20 lap dances. Apparently, the last person who ordered Blaser’s tipple was a head of state.
Rather than make a fuss over this, Guru reckons Swiss Re should use it as an example of best practice. This is work-life balance in action – a seamless move from the daily grind of working life, to the bump and grind of girls ‘working it’.
Who’s keeping tabs on HR’s psychos?
n A worrying letter from disciple Viv, shows HR might not be the best people to deal with stress management. It says: “With all the emphasis on stress in the workplace lately, the HR manager and myself (an HR officer) decided to get the ball rolling with stress audits. We found a fantastic package that would suit our workforce and gave it a try ourselves first.
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“To our dismay, the results showed that we both need psychological help immediately, or there is a risk of complete burn-out. What chance have staff got when HR is in that state?”
HR is obviously following the Neil Young school of management – better to burn out than fade away. However, if you choose to live fast, it’s likely that your company will die young, not you. Death by employment tribunal. Ouch.
