Last week saw the latest creeping advance of that alien culture that is America across our green and pleasant land, with the widespread adoption of Trick or Treat Halloween shenanigans.
Apparently, the whole idea of Trick or Treat is to:
Dress up in dangerously scary costumes so that no-one can see who you really are.
Brandish outlandish scythes, knives and other implements of death and destruction.
Turn up uninvited on somebody’s doorstep and threaten to trash the place unless they give you some sweets.
The fact that this ghoulish activity is taking over from the traditional and much-loved celebration of the attempt to blow up the home of government in England is not lost on Yours Truly.
But shouldn’t someone be telling the Iraqis to get in a few lorry loads of sherbert fountains, black jacks and flying saucers? They may be the very Weapons of Mass Consumption that the Yanks have been looking for all along.