Big Bro’s Maxwell evicted by Topshop

Not telling your bosses you are going away – whether that be on an all inclusive to Benidorm or indeed prison – can have serious consequences.

Now while Guru is loathe to give the oxygen of publicity to Z-list celebrities such as Abi Titmuss (the kiss of life would be a different matter, obviously), he is only too glad to bring you news of the fate of one of these brainless drones, who has also spent time away this summer.

Maxwell Ward – one of this year’s contestants on monotonous schedule-filler Big Brother – has lost his job as an electrician at Topshop in Oxford Street after neglecting to tell the retailer he could be absent for several weeks.

Apparently, waiting for him at home on his return from TV ‘stardom’ was a letter from the head of HR, telling him he was no longer employed by the company.

So, to put it in the cheeky [annoying] Cockney’s parlance, he has been given the Spanish archer – El Bow – by his employer, part of Philip Green’s Arcadia Group.

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All hope is not lost for Maxwell though, with the company confirming he can appeal against the decision. “We’d be interested to hear what he has to say,” a spokeswoman said.

So would Guru – though it would presumably be in words of less than three syllables.