Bouncers get sore after rough handling

Guru is not one for poring through employment law updates – not enough pictures – but he was happy to sit up and take notice when it emerged that Britney Spears is being sued by three former security guards, who claim the pop singer did not pay them overtime.

The three guards allege that they were on call 24 hours a day, yet received nothing above their basic salaries. All three claim they were fired last November without any com-pensation or final pay cheques, as required by US labour laws.

Now Guru has had a soft spot for Britney ever since she dressed up as a naughty schoolgirl in the video for her debut single. And no, not just because of the short skirt, crop top and pigtails, but because of her wonderfully insightful song titles.

Picture the scene in the forthcoming employment tribunal:

Judge: Why didn’t you pay the guards overtime?

Britney: It’s My Prerogative.

Judge: Why did you eventually fire them?

Britney: Because one told me I’m A Slave For You.

Judge: Did you try and persuade them to stay on?

Britney: I did ask one of them: “Baby, One More Time?”

Judge: I’ve warned you about this behaviour before.

Britney: Oops… I Did It Again.

Judge: I’m reserving judgment on this case.

Britney: OK – just Don’t Let Me Be The Last To Know.

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