Burning issues: gender pay gap

Guru tackles the biggest news issues of the week and tells you exactly what he thinks about it – saying all the things you want to but never can.

This week: The gender pay gap

It’s all done – we can all sleep in our beds safe in the knowledge that the Women and Work Commission has reported and everything is well in the world of work. Just a few simple steps and we’ll all be paid the same. These include overhauls of education, legislation and ingrained cultures in both the public and private sectors.

Simple. We’ll have it done by lunch.

But Guru has an easier solution to the pay gap than the recom-mendations set out in the 148-page report. When he tells you, he will uncover a giant male conspiracy to keep womenfolk down.

Ready? It’s all done with jargon. Women in today’s workplace are hampered by glass ceilings, glass cliffs, glass elevators (anything in glass, apparently), sticky floors, rungless ladders and opportunity gaps. Even things designed to help women hold such preposterous monikers as ‘light-touch equality checks’.

This bewildering array of terminology is designed to confuse and distract women so that men can nip in and fiddle with payroll so they get their obligatory extra 17% pay.

It’s that simple. Sadly, with hindsight, Guru doubts that we can stop people using this nonsense language by lunch, so maybe the commission’s recommendations are easier after all.

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