Rap music, Guru understands from his extensive reading of the Daily Telegraph and Gramophone magazine, is both bad for the ears and the root of all society’s ills.
If only the brass bands of the 1950s replaced the gold chains of the present day, the UK would be rid of hoodies, knives, unemployment, council estates, crime and unhappiness. The cost of hosting the 2012 Olympics would also fall, and Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard would start playing well together in the centre of England’s midfield.
However, it now appears that rap can be used for purposes of good. In a shock move, driver-training organisation TTC has announced plans to use a rap song to campaign against drink-driving. The firm is using a track ‘laid down’ by Love Isaac Sackey to persuade corporate drivers to leave their car keys in the office if they are going on a boozy expenses-fuelled lunch. Sackey – who lives in the gun capital of the UK, Nottingham – was moved to write the song when he attended a TTC course after being caught driving while over the limit.
Lyrics from the moving song include this virtually Shakespearean pathos-laden stanza: “I won’t give you any sex/You are not getting any sex/I am keeping my snatch/I am keeping my fun/Cus I’m not riding with you/Because you’ve chosen a drink but not me/Don’t drink and drive.”
Rap has clearly been under-rated as an HR tool in the workplace. Guru looks forward to the Fifty Cent track Boost Basic Skills or Die Tryin’ and Jay-Z tune 99 Problems (But Diversity Ain’t One).