Guru

This week’s guru

All shook up by unfair dismissal

A Nissan worker is claiming he has been treated like a hound dog after
alleging he was sacked for singing Elvis songs on the anniversary of the King’s
death.

Production line worker David Jewers, was suspended after arguing with a big
boss man about singing along to tribute songs playing on the radio. Jewers
claims he was later sacked and is now taking the firm to an employment
tribunal.

Guru, a lifelong Elvis fan, knows the dangers of crooning the King’s lyrics
at work. He was once accused of harassment for singing Are You Lonesome Tonight
to Brenda, the cleaning lady.

Rail body displays herding instinct

Guru often finds himself puce, frustrated and sweaty by the time he gets to
work, following his usual nightmare journey to the office. The train is always
late, travels so slowly a man with a red flag should run ahead of it, and is so
crowded, European regulations would ban it if its occupants mooed.

So he is glad to hear that the Rail Passenger Council (RPC) is to
investigate the ill-effects of commuting by rail, after a study revealed that
many workers find the journey to and from work the most stressful part of the
day.

Researchers are to monitor the physical effects of this stress, including
the heart rate and blood pressure of rail passengers.

The RPC emphasised that as well as overcrowding, people are concerned about
lateness and the lack of value for money.

Guru is sceptical the study will lead to any improvements for the nations
rail commuters – one possible solution to be considered by RPC is that seats on
peak hour trains will be removed to allow more people to be packed in – the
idea being that commuters would feel less stressed standing jammed cheek to
cheek as long as they caught the train at the time they wanted. Pure genius.

How Guru graduated to long trousers

Graduates are finding it harder to find jobs now than they have at any time
since 1990.

This situation is likely to fan the flames of debate over government
education strategy and whether more emphasis should be placed on vocational
learning and less on the need to get more students into higher education.

Guru is in no doubt there is a need for a more vocational approach to equip
young people with the skills employers actually want and help them into the
jobs that UK plc needs to fill.

He knows only too well what a waste of talent it is to be a highly-qualified
graduate whose skills are not in demand. His immediate post-graduation jobs
included bar man, labourer, greengrocer and trouser tester for the Australian
Government (absolutely true).

Depressed by his inability to find a job in the UK, Guru decided to broaden
his life experience through travel and secured a job testing prototype work
trousers in Sydney. This included running in said trousers on treadmill,
climbing ladders and watching videos in a room where the temperature was varied
to extremes of heat and cold. Guru then reported on sweating, chafing and
general comfort.

Guru would like to hear from disciples who struggled to make the most of
their qualifications in weird and wonderful jobs before finding their niche in
the HR profession. The most unusual will win fabulous ‘I’m an HR Guru too’
mousemats.