‘Hell on earth’ will stoke the economy

When one of the UK’s leading global economists, Sir Nick Stern, thrust himself into the limelight by announcing that the world will end up as “a ball of hellfire” if we don’t do something to tackle global warming, like the rest of humanity, Guru felt a little down.

But, ever the optimist, he then considered the job creation possibilities that a ‘living hell on earth’ would throw up.

First, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse would be dusting off their steeds and saddling up for their long-awaited return and a few decades of dark deeds.

Admittedly that’s only four jobs, but with the occasional shower of fire and brimstone raining down on the planet (rather than sitting snuggly in a brazier), there would be plenty of work for the Four (thousand) Horsemen of the Firestation to be getting on with.

Talking of brazen, with pretty much everywhere becoming a tourist ‘hot-spot’, recruitment agencies would be stoking the fires of naked ambition by employing every currently unemployable university drop-out as a holiday rep from hell – in a town near you.

And wherever there are new jobs there will be new tax-grabbing opportunities for our devilish PM-in-waiting.

Naturally, there will be a downside – the rag trade would incur massive job losses as people opted to wear less and less. Although, thinking about it, maybe that’s not such a bad thing.


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