George W Bush – who has been looking a tad haggard lately – has been pulling out the stops to meet and greet our Queen, by being as imbecilic as usual and putting his foot in his mouth at every opportunity.
Demonstrating to the US masses his grasp of all matters relating to good leadership, Bush’s latest attempt at ‘shock and awe’ involved suggesting that Her Maj had last visited the US in 1776, rather than 1976.
Now, while it may seem to the casual observer that Queenie has been sat on the throne for 250 years, in reality she has only been ‘leading’ our great nation for a mere 55 years, displaying her uncanny knack for management through her selection of bad hats and rayon frocks in pastel shades.
The cowboy-in-chief’s latest gaffe prompted much forced laughter among the UK’s crack team of obsequious ‘royal correspondents’, who tag along behind the old crown-wearer, recording in minute detail every swish of skirt while seemingly missing anything significant she might have to say.
Luckily, Guru’s secret royal watcher passed on the real response of HRH: “Shut it, Bush, before I ‘ave yer!”
It restores national pride to think our very own national sponger – sorry, treasure – is capable of such wit and wisdom. Unlike her unwanted entourage of oily media whores, who consistently paint themselves into a corner with their florid prose and habitual forelock tugging.