Witch weaves spell on tax collectors

Wouldn’t it be nice if employers got tax breaks for training staff to make the UK a more productive place?

Well, a 39-year-old woman has been given one hex of a push in the right direction after Dutch authorities allowed her to deduct tax from her training to become a witch.

She is allowed to claim euro 2,210 (£1,505) for the course, which lasts a year and a day and will allegedly ‘extend her professional knowledge’.

She will learn to cast spells, prepare herbs and potions and use crystal balls, as well as other topics of burning importance to the witchcraft community.

Apparently, everything she learns will be used as a force for good. Hmmm

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Guru had no idea there was a market for this kind of thing. However, he looked a little deeper and realised you can become an expert at anything if you really want to. There are courses on the web for paranormal training (including how to become a paranormal investigator), past-life regression/future-life regression, lucid dreaming, and how to become a psychic/spiritualist medium.

Guru is setting up a recruitment organisation for people wanting to hire witches. He has a feeling the new service – Witchfinder General – is going to be a big success among the witching sorority.