A couple of weeks ago, Guru asked disciples to send in details of their traumatic interview experiences. This request was all well and good, however, it did ignore the fact that the most disastrous interviews do not actually manifest themselves until long after the event. This is when you realise you have hired an absolute cretin who can smile nicely at interview, but in reality has all the usefulness of an ashtray in an Irish workplace. This is borne out by the following tale from disciple Lena:
"I am in HR and my husband is a retail sales manager. He recalls the time when he interviewed a very strong candidate for the role of dark-room technician for a professional photographic company. This chap had extensive technical knowledge of photographic techniques, darkroom procedures, and chemicals, was very personable, etc. He seemed perfect. All seemed well until one day, shortly after he started, when he sheepishly arrived at the husband's office door. He was handing in his notice. Naturally, my husband was very concerned and asked why. It turned out he was afraid of the dark.
Next week: Your most hilarious discrimination tribunal stories. Or perhaps not.
'Food fight' fails to fulfill feast fetish
A press release landed on Guru's desk recently which proved to be one of the greatest anti-climaxes in his long and distinguished career. It was entitled 'Four hundred and fifty staff in a food fight'. Guru hoped to read about how a staff canteen descended into uproar after a disagreement over the whether or not a sachet of tomato sauce should really cost extra (which obviously it shouldn't - so stop charging for it you tight gits! Sorry, a bit of a personal outburst there).
Anyway, it turns out that this piece of cunning linguistics actually meant that staff at a finance company (which shall remain nameless as it doesn't deserve any credit for this deceit) were allowed to choose the caterer that would run their eaterie.
So instead of the bun fight at the OK Corral, there will be a 'taste off' in the staff canteen. How very disappointing.
Guru just hopes the staff aren't under the same misapprehension as him when they turn up, or management could soon be eating their words. Literally.
A quick legal note should you wish to plan your own food fight, as we live in litigious times.
Each staff member (hereafter named 'employees') should be given equal quantities of foodstuff that might be prope