Sexist underwear ban is pile of pants

Guru loves nuclear power. There’s no real reason for this except that people are always ranting about how awful it is and he likes to be a bit different.

In fact it was living near a nuclear facility that gave Guru his delightful blue tint and imbued him with strange superpowers – in the form of Scathing Satire and Wicked Wit – which have enabled him to fight for truth and justice.

(Note to Hollywood producers: film rights are still available for the six-hour epic Guru: The Revenge.)

If these factors aren’t a total vindication of the benefits of nuclear power, then there’s no common sense left in the world. Sadly, as Guru once said many years ago, you can’t please all of the people all of the time.

Take the bosses at the Sellafield nuclear facility who are under fire from female staff who are claiming sexual discrimination after they learned men get an £80 “underwear allowance”.

In a letter to the Whitehaven News, one lady complained thus: “We are not entitled to the underwear allowance. Why not? Don’t we also have to provide and launder our own underwear?”

So the fight for truth and justice goes on (see above) and Guru has marshalled all his literary superpowers to declare such discrimination to be completely pants.

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