Guru’s Foreign Briefing… Turning the lights out

It’s almost closing time: last orders please. Seeing as this is the final part of the foreign briefing, Guru thought he’d get all apocalyptic on you.

China and India are choosing the US and Dubai instead of London as the place to invest their loot, according to research. And as our next generation doesn’t seem to be interested in learning much – reading and counting are so last millennium – the future looks bleak indeed.

But fear not. Follow these simple steps and all will be well. First, learn Mandarin, Gujarati, or preferably both. Second, learn to like exotic foodstuffs, such as curry. Guru has been informed such meals will soon be available on our shores. Third, start smoking it’s all the rage out East.

Guru is off to outsource himself to the highest bidder. So, dear disciples, best of luck and sayonara (or aavjo if you are betting on India).

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