Return to sender, planet unknown

It’s letter week here at Guru Weekly (aka Personnel Today). Like some kind of spring-time Santa Claus, Guru has opened his sack to the general public.

Delving inside reveals that getting a place on the board should be a piece of piffle after some of the things HR has to deal with.

Take this application for work experience that was sent to disciple Colette by someone purporting to be a student at Kingston University:

Sign up to our weekly round-up of HR news and guidance

Receive the Personnel Today Direct e-newsletter every Wednesday

Email(Required)

OptOut

From time to time, we will send you emails about selected products, events and services from Personnel Today and OHW+ - but you can choose to opt-out at any time. If you do not wish to receive these emails, please tick this box.

Phone

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Δ

I am presently completing a degree in Business and marketing. I have a respectful curriculum vitae, which I have attatched. I have taken interest in your company and have researched you. I would lov e yo have some work expereience in March or April, as long as possible. A week or a month, just to gain experience and help as much as I can. Please get back to me. Thank you.

A university education ain’t what it used to be. Is this the worst covering letter ever? If you can beat it, let us know.