The Work Clinic

Sequins, thigh-slapping, and innuendos aren't usually associated with professional services firm PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC), but it was high camp all the way at last night's panto.

Bizarrely, it was my first panto, so I approached it with some hesitance and not a little trepidation. But within 10 minutes I was singing along and within 20 I was shouting 'she's behind you' with the best of them.

And what a panto. Who knew that Cinderella sang Amy Winehouse numbers, that one of the seven dwarves was French (and one Welsh), or that Cinders' childhood nurse, Dame Doitall (pictured) had access to Madonna's wardrobe (namely the gold conical Jean-Paul Gaultier bra).

It had it all - familiar songs, sharp dance routines, great costumes, clever sets and gusto by the bucketful.

The only thing missing was a list of job titles on the programme - I would love to have known what those dwarves did for a living. Accountant, economist, auditor?

This was PwC's 24th panto season. And while the performers and stage-hands are all staff, the audience included 5,000 under 10-year-olds, drawn from inner city schools and charities across London.

I've already asked for an invitation for next year's ... 

You've got to feel sorry for young people today. First no one wanted to employ. Now they're being targeted by the pariah of the business world - financial services. What have they done to deserve this?!

The National Skills Academy for Financial Services (NSAFS) is apparently urging financial services employers looking for new staff to target school leavers currently finishing their 'A' levels. They opens up a real can of worms:

Lack of qualifications and experience. Look at the mess the industry got itself into with qualified staff ...

Reward discrepancies. Presumably the industry plans to pay these poor fools a pittance while still shelling out huge amounts for senior staff?

The long run. Are they going to regret this? While the organisations involved may well come to regret hiring inexperienced staff, the young people concerned may very well look back and regret missing out on a university education ...

Save for maybe making the government look a tiny bit better, this is destined to be another one of those sticking plaster over a gaping wound schemes that will fade away in a year or two ... hopefully.

Today is meant to be the most depressing day of the year - the day when post-Christmas credit card bills arrive, daylight is scarce and we have 73 days to trudge through until the next bank holiday.

I reckon that's rubbish. The sun is shining, there's no ice to slip and slide over on the way to work, and the folks at iOpener have come up with 10 tips for being happy at work.

1. Greet everyone you see as you arrive: that way you'll feel connected to your colleagues.
2. Do something difficult. Everyone feels good about themselves when they meet a challenge.
3. Put things in proportion.
4. Show a close colleague some appreciation. It's all too easy to forget to thank people.
5. Think about the differences you make to others, including your family, just by being at work and doing your job well.
6. Make active choices about what you do and when. Composing a to-do list in an order you find important can increase your sense of control.
7. Phone a friend. It's always good to share and connect with people outside work.
8. Write down the parts of the job you really like: think about how you might get more out of them.
9. Volunteer to do something you wouldn't normally do. You'll get a lot of appreciation and you might learn something new.
10. Revist your main new year's resolution. Take one small step towards meeting it.

You'd think that being a Guardian journalist would be their dream job, but apparently not -  the paper's columnists have leapt at the chance to spend a day trying out their dream jobs. Read the article to see whether a taste of reality puts an end to their hankering.

The Canadian government has said that it will welcome between 240,000 and 265,000 new residents in 2010, and is particularly keen to recruit skilled workers. Most in demand are:

• Plumbers
• Welders
• Nurses
• Physiotherapists

Canada so urgently needs people skilled in these and a further 34 trades that the government is offering applicants priority visa processing. Those accepted could be working in Canada within months of starting the application process.

Among those in demand:

• Crane operators
• Chefs
• Accountants
• Pipefitters
• IT experts
• Mining engineers

Alas, no mention of journalists ...

According to a survey produced by Enterprise Rent-A-Car, going green is no longer a priority for small businesses.

The survey asked what factors would influence a company's decision to 'go green' - oddly, one in 10 respondents said that they wouldn't opt for green products, even if they were cheaper and more convenient than the alternative.

Inexplicably, companies in the east of England are least likely to use environmentally-friendly products, with almost a quarter (22.5%) saying that nothing would persuade them to use green products or services - how bizarre.

Rob Ingram, director of business rental at Enterprise Rent-A-Car, said: "The unwillingness of such a substantial portion of UK businesses to go green could well have a detrimental effect on their businesses as a whole."

What the survey didn't mention was what proportion of big companies have stuck to their environmental guns, now that the economy is on the skids.

So much for us oldies whingeing about the amount of time youngsters 'waste' on social networking.

According to the National Literacy Trust, children who blog, text or us social networking have better writing skills than those who do not.

The organisation surveyed more than 3000 children aged between 9 and 16, and found:

• 24% had their own blog
• 82% sent text messages at least once a month
• 73% used instant messaging

But, encouragingly, 77% still write, mainly to do schoolwork.

National Literacy Trust director Jonathan Douglas told the BBC: "Our research suggests a strong correlation between kids using technology and wider patterns of reading and writing."

He added: "Engagement with online technology drives their enthusiasm for writing short stories, letters, song lyrics or diaries."

While this is all good stuff, there remains the worrying truth that not all children have access to computers, or indeed someone to encourage them to blog. It looks like fair access to the professions may have some way to go.

The Outward Bound Trust wants to hear from anyone who's taken part in an outward bound course in the UK since 1941.

As part of its 70th birthday celebrations in 2011, the charity has launched The Generations Campaign, aimed at finding outward bound participants who can share their experiences with the younger generation.

Visit the Generations Campaign website.

The Guardian has come up with a handy guide to surviving the office Christmas party. Here are their top tips:

1. Don't try to get out of going.

2. Dress to impress - not to shock.

3. Have a drink - but stay one behind the boss.

4. Don't push your luck - don't drink the free bar dry.

5. Take advantage of the occasion. This is a great chance to network with the bigwigs (but only if you're sober).

6. Avoid 'crazy japes' (their words, not mine).

7. Put on a brave face the next day. Get to the office on time. Make the necessary apologies discreetly.

8. Read the full article .... 

Soon the recession will end and instead of laying people off we will all about face and start hiring.  I feel so confident about the economy that I hired a cleaner the other day. I discussed it with my wife, agreed a budget and talked to some neighbours to get a recommendation.  The cleaner starts next week.

In a work context, say you need a senior systems analyst for a project.  Think of just some of the stages you'll have to go through - filling out a requisition form, getting it signed off, hiring a contractor ...

OK I admit it; a cleaner is easier to hire than a systems analyst, but you get the point.
Why the bureaucratic nightmare? Well, if the HR function is centralised to get "economies of scale", pressure to reduce cost will lead to standard procedures that focus on cost efficiency rather than service.

Then internal auditors are employed.  They come round poking holes and telling the boss you are incompetent.  This has two outcomes.  All forms have to be signed by 3 levels of management and any sense of trust and co-operation goes out of the window.
The more bureaucracy there is, the more people expect it and feel that they can't challenge the system, but nobody likes it, not the customers, the workers or the bosses.  Even the auditors hate it.

The good news is that it is easy to strip away this red tape.  Get the support of the person who is accountable for performance and then work with a team who really understand the problem to highlight all the maddening rules and regulations, focusing on giving the customer what they want.  It won't just be service that improves; all the double handling and rework that you get rid of will have a positive impact on your costs as well.

Go on, have a go.

James Lawther
Transparency Works